手機(jī)版
We have all, at one point or another, poisoned our own happiness, whether it be through worry, fear, or just poor decision making. Life can certainly throw a person into a tailspin but the real culprit isn’t the adversity, it’s how we perceive and respond to the adversity that determines the outcome. Sometimes it is simply a matter of wrong motives in life that can lead us down the venomous path, rather than the path that leads to the antidote.
我們每個(gè)人偶爾都會(huì)毒害自己的幸福，無論是通過擔(dān)憂，恐懼或者糟糕的決定。生活有時(shí)會(huì)使我們陷入困境，但真正的罪魁禍?zhǔn)撞⒉皇悄婢潮旧恚瑳Q定結(jié)果的是我們對(duì)逆境的理解，對(duì)逆境作出的反應(yīng)。有時(shí)生活中錯(cuò)誤的動(dòng)機(jī)會(huì)導(dǎo)致我們走上困難重重的道路，而不是找到解決方法的道路。
1. Your jealousy can ruin any relationship.
1.嫉妒會(huì)摧毀任何戀情。
Your better off dealing with jealousy head on when it rears its ugly head. Most people don’t want to admit when they have been bitten by the green-eyed monster but it can happen from time to time. There are people who exude jealousy to the point that it ruins relationships. It usually stems from feelings of inadequacy, and those are the things that a person must take a hard look at in order to salvage their relationships. A happy person is one who is free from jealousy and it shows in healthy relationships.
當(dāng)嫉妒情緒出現(xiàn)時(shí)，你最好昂首面對(duì)。大部分人被嫉妒情緒吞噬時(shí)并不想承認(rèn)，但嫉妒卻是經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)的。有人嫉妒情緒顯露無遺，以至于摧毀戀情。嫉妒情緒通常源于不滿足感，為了挽救你們的戀情，你必須認(rèn)真反省。幸福的人從不嫉妒，這在健康的戀情中可以反映出來。
2. Your desire for superficial things in life can poison happiness.
2.對(duì)膚淺事物的渴望會(huì)毒害幸福。
It is often said that the happiest people are those who do more for others, rather than themselves. If you're the type of person that pursues the superficial things of life: wealth, cars, name brand clothes, etc. then it is safe to say that you are poisoning your own happiness in life. The desire of the perfunctory will only lead to more dissatisfaction because our brain is hard-wired at a threshold for such things; it’s called hedonistic adaptation. Living a life of modesty will bring you more happiness in the long run.
人們經(jīng)常說，最幸福的人總是為他人做的多，而不是為自己。如果你追求生活中浮于表面的東西：財(cái)富，汽車，名牌服裝等等，那么我可以肯定地說，你在破壞自己的幸福。對(duì)膚淺事物的渴望只會(huì)導(dǎo)致更多的不滿足感，因?yàn)閷?duì)于這些東西我們的大腦天生有一個(gè)臨界值；所謂的享樂適應(yīng)。質(zhì)樸的生活將會(huì)帶給你更長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)的幸福。
3. Your grudge-holding will destroy your happiness.
3.懷恨在心會(huì)摧毀你的幸福。
I once knew a man who held a grudge against his father for leaving the family. His grudge festered within him like a cancer and destroyed any hope of his living life to the fullest. The Stoic philosophers believed that some things are out of our control, so in short, they aren’t worth worrying over or trying to fix. Happiness comes from moving forward in your life and letting go of grudges that would hold you back.
我曾經(jīng)認(rèn)識(shí)一個(gè)男子，因父親離棄家庭而飽含恨意。他的怨恨像癌細(xì)胞一樣在他的體內(nèi)肆虐，完全破壞了所有的生活希望。斯多葛派哲學(xué)家認(rèn)為有些事情不是我們能控制的，簡(jiǎn)言之，這些事情不值得擔(dān)憂或試圖解決。幸福來自于生活中不斷前行，放下束縛你的怨恨。
4. Your regrets in life will destroy your peace.
4.生命中的遺憾會(huì)摧毀你的平和。
Your life most certainly will be filled with regrets from time to time; I call them mistakes. Mistakes are only there to teach you that a certain path has ended and so it is time to try another. There’s no use in looking back in regret, because you cannot change the past. Simply move forward and try another road. You will most certainly be happier for it.
生活肯定會(huì)不時(shí)地出現(xiàn)遺憾：我稱之為錯(cuò)誤。錯(cuò)誤只是教育你一段路程已經(jīng)結(jié)束，現(xiàn)在是時(shí)候嘗試另外一段新的路程�；匚哆z憾毫無意義，因?yàn)槟悴荒芨淖冞^去。義無反顧地繼續(xù)前行，嘗試另一條路，你肯定會(huì)更加幸福。
5. Your dependence on others will hinder happiness.
5.對(duì)他人的依賴會(huì)妨礙幸福。
If you are dependent person or to use another phrase, codependent on another person for your happiness, you will undoubtedly be waiting a very long time for a happy life. Happiness will never come to you from another person, it can only come from within yourself. You can find happiness with someone within a relationship, but that cannot be trusted for your own happiness, because at some point in time, that person will let you down. Looking within is the only way to true joy.
如果你依賴他人，或者換句話說，你的幸福依賴于他人，無疑需要很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間才能實(shí)現(xiàn)幸福.。幸福不會(huì)從另一個(gè)人那里降臨，只會(huì)來自你的內(nèi)心。你可以從跟某個(gè)人的戀情中找到幸福，但你的幸福并不能得到保障，因?yàn)樵谀硞�(gè)時(shí)間，那人會(huì)讓你失望。在自己的內(nèi)心尋找才是真正快樂的唯一方式。
6. Your need to fix other people will ruin your happiness.
6.操控其他人的需要會(huì)毀了你的幸福。
This ties into co-dependence as well. If you feel the need to “fix” others, then you will never be focused on your own well-being and happiness. When your focus shifts away from the self, you will always find something that needs to be fixed in others in order to make you feel happy. The only person you can control is you; so why not focus on self-actualization for long-term happiness.
這也關(guān)系到相互依賴。如果你覺得需要操控別人，那么你將永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)關(guān)注自身的幸福和快樂。當(dāng)你轉(zhuǎn)移焦點(diǎn)遠(yuǎn)離自我，為了使你幸福，你總要從別人那里尋找需要操控的事情。你唯一能控制的人就是你自己，那么為什么不把重點(diǎn)放在自我實(shí)現(xiàn)上，尋求長(zhǎng)久的幸福呢。
7. Your fear can hold a person back from experiencing true happiness.
7.恐懼會(huì)阻礙你體驗(yàn)真正的幸福。
Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” It can stem from many places, but you will only experience true happiness when you release your fears and simply do the thing your are afraid of doing.
拉爾夫•瓦爾多•愛默生說，“與世界上任何事物相比，恐懼更能擊潰人類。”它可以起源于許多地方，但只有你釋放恐懼情緒，做你害怕的事情，你才能體驗(yàn)到真正的幸福。
8. Your selfishness is a poison to your happiness.
8.自私對(duì)幸福來說是一種毒藥。
If your a selfish person, it means you always want things your way and others’ needs and opinions are often discarded in the process. Most people do not want to be in relationship with a selfish person and if this describes you, you may just find yourself alone and unhappy if it is not changed. Take a good look at yourself and examine areas of your life that have fallen prey to selfishness and make the necessary changes; you may find happiness was waiting for you all along.
如果你是一個(gè)自私的人，這意味著你總是希望事情按照你的方式發(fā)展，其他人的需要和意見則常被忽略。大多數(shù)人不想跟自私的人保持關(guān)系，如果你就是這樣，倘若不作出改變，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己孤獨(dú)而不幸。仔細(xì)反省自己，審視你的生活中深受自私之害的地方，并做出必要的改變，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)幸福一直等待著你。
9. Your happiness will wane when you set unreasonably high expectations of others.
9.對(duì)他人期望過高，你的幸福會(huì)減弱。
Your need for everyone to meet your standards in life is an unreasonable expectation that most people will never be able to attain; therefore, you will most always be disappointed in people and thus unhappy in life. All people have their own personality type which will prevent them from ever being able to live up to what you expect of them. They cannot do it. When you let go of the expectation of others to perform to your standards, you will find that they, as well as yourself, will be much more elated. A free person is a happy person.
希望生活中的每個(gè)人都能達(dá)到你的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)是一種不合理的期望，大多數(shù)人將永遠(yuǎn)無法做到。所以，你將總是對(duì)周圍的人感到失望，并因此生活得不快樂。所有人都有自己的性格，這使他們不能符合你的期望。他們做不到。當(dāng)你不再讓別人執(zhí)行你的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來滿足你的期望，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)他們和你自己都會(huì)更加開心。自由的人是快樂的。
10. Your self-righteous attitude will halt your happiness.
10.自以為是的態(tài)度會(huì)終止你的幸福。
If your a self-righteous person it means that you feel you can do no wrong, and that other people are always in the wrong. I used to attend church and always felt this type of attitude amongst the people, which in turn made for a lot of unhappiness in many of the people’s relationships. It is impossible to be perfect all of the time, so why not do drop your self-righteousness and experience true happiness. Not only will your relationships flourish but you will be a much more relaxed individual.
如果你是自以為是的人，這意味著你認(rèn)為自己永遠(yuǎn)沒有錯(cuò)，其他人永遠(yuǎn)是錯(cuò)的一方。我曾參加過教會(huì)活動(dòng)，總覺得生活中很多人都持這種態(tài)度，從而導(dǎo)致許多人的關(guān)系中存在諸多不快樂的因素。所有時(shí)間都保持完美是不可能的，所以為什么不拋開你的自以為是，體驗(yàn)真正的幸福呢。這不僅會(huì)使你的人際關(guān)系蓬勃發(fā)展，而且將使你成為一個(gè)更輕松的人。
11. Your living in the past will hinder happiness.
11.沉湎于過去會(huì)妨礙幸福。
If you're living in the past, it means that you are unhappy with the present. Your happiness is a current state of mind and if your life is not making you happy, then maybe it is time to examine your situation and makes some changes for the better. Maybe you need a new career goal? Maybe it’s time to finish a project you’ve been putting off? Whatever the case, moving forward in life will help you feel that you are living in the “now.”
如果你沉湎于過去，這意味著你現(xiàn)在并不開心。幸福是當(dāng)前的精神狀態(tài)，如果你的生活不能讓你快樂，那么也許是時(shí)候?qū)徱曌约旱奶幘�，為更好的生活做出改變了。也許你需要一個(gè)新的職業(yè)目標(biāo)？也許是時(shí)候來完成一個(gè)你拖延已久的項(xiàng)目？無論如何，在生活中不斷前行會(huì)讓你覺得生活在“現(xiàn)在”。
12. Your dishonesty can dampen happiness.
12.不誠實(shí)會(huì)抑制幸福。
If you are a dishonest person, chances are you have alienated yourself from others. Often times, people who are dishonest gain the reputation as someone who cannot be trusted; therefore, they are seen as an unfaithful friend and partner. Alienating yourself through dishonesty will surely lead to unhappiness and isolation.
如果你是一個(gè)不誠實(shí)的人，你會(huì)使自己與他人疏遠(yuǎn)。通常，不誠實(shí)的人會(huì)讓人認(rèn)為不可信任；因此，他們被看作是不忠實(shí)的朋友或伙伴。因不誠實(shí)將自己疏遠(yuǎn)，必將導(dǎo)致不幸和孤立。
13. Your substance use alters states of happiness.
13.物質(zhì)濫用改變幸福的狀態(tài)。
Some may disagree but even if you use substances for temporary states of “happiness” it will be short-lived and once the high wears off, your feelings of unhappiness will be there, staring you in the face. Even for those who use chocolate and caffeine as means of escape, must admit that the euphoria is short-lived.
有些人可能不認(rèn)同，但即使你使用物質(zhì)得到短暫的“快樂”，也只是曇花一現(xiàn)，一旦興奮逐漸減弱，你就會(huì)感到不快樂。即使那些用巧克力和咖啡因作為逃避手段的人也必須承認(rèn)，興奮是短暫的。
14. Your pessimism leads to perpetual moods of unhappiness.
14.悲觀情緒會(huì)導(dǎo)致永久的不幸。
It is thought that if you are the type of person that always has the pessimistic attitude it can lead to a life of unhappiness. In a sense, your words and thoughts have power to them and if you constantly use “negative talk” it’s like sending negative vibes out into the world. Thus, unhappiness appears to follow you around like a virus that won’t go away. The medicine for pessimism is to become aware of your negativity and work to change your thoughts and words for the better. Read, exercise, take up a hobby, whatever you need to feel better about yourself is worth a try.
人們認(rèn)為，如果你總是持有悲觀的態(tài)度，就會(huì)導(dǎo)致生活不幸福。從某種意義上說，你的言語和想法是具有魔力的，如果你經(jīng)常使用“否定說”，就會(huì)向外在世界發(fā)射出消極的頻率波動(dòng)。因此，不幸就好像病毒一樣跟隨你，永不消失。治療悲觀情緒的藥物就是意識(shí)到你的消極態(tài)度，向更好的方向去改變思維和言語。閱讀，鍛煉，養(yǎng)成一種愛好，無論需要什么，只要能讓你自我感覺更好就值得一試。
15. Your prejudice of other people can make you unhappy with yourself.
15.對(duì)其他人的偏見會(huì)讓自己不開心。
You would think that if someone is prejudiced against a group of people, it means they are unhappy with that group but quite the opposite is true. A prejudiced person is often an unhappy person, spewing their unhappiness onto a “scapegoat” group of people. Prejudiced people look for instances in which to unleash their fury onto others. They think it will somehow make them feel better, but it won’t. If you find that you are prejudiced (and we do all have certain prejudices), it may be time to sit down and really take stock in yourself and confront these issues head on; you will be glad you did.
你可能會(huì)認(rèn)為，如果有人對(duì)一群人懷有偏見，這意味著他們對(duì)這一群人都感到不滿。但事實(shí)恰恰相反。有偏見的人往往是不幸福的人，把他們的不快發(fā)泄在“替罪羊”群體中。有偏見的人尋找機(jī)會(huì)來將他們的憤怒宣泄到別人身上。他們認(rèn)為這會(huì)讓他們感覺更好，但是事實(shí)并非如此。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)你有偏見（我們所有人都會(huì)有一些偏見），可能是時(shí)候坐下來，反省自己，直面這些問題：你會(huì)很高興你做到了。
16. Your self-doubt can lead to feelings of unhappiness.
16.自我懷疑會(huì)導(dǎo)致不快樂的感覺。
If you doubt yourself consistently, it would stand to reason that it will lead you to feelings of unhappiness. A self-doubter may engage in negative self-talk which leads to deeper and deeper feelings of unhappiness. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to be addressed with a close friend or counselor who may be able to help you through these feelings. Maybe finding a positive outlet in which to volunteer your time can boost your self-worth as well, and take your mind off yourself for a change.
如果你一貫懷疑自己，顯然會(huì)導(dǎo)致你心情不快。自我懷疑的人會(huì)消極地自我否定，導(dǎo)致越來越嚴(yán)重的不快樂的感覺。這是一個(gè)惡性循環(huán)，需要一個(gè)親密的朋友或輔導(dǎo)員來幫助你處理，幫助你克服這些情緒。也許找到一個(gè)積極的情感宣泄方式，無償付出你的時(shí)間，這既可以提升自我價(jià)值感，又可以把你的注意力從自己身上轉(zhuǎn)移。
17. Your unhappiness can stem from unchecked mental health.
17.不幸福來自不健康的心理。
If you suffer from anxiety or depression, it isn’t hard to figure that unhappiness follows. What causes these mental imbalances? Often the society we engage in daily is enough to send anyone into states of unhappiness by way of anxiety and other mental illnesses. Sometimes there are more serious issues at hand but unhappiness is robbed all the same. Take time and talk with someone in whom you trust who can help you sort through life’s mishaps. When in doubt seek professional help.
如果你患有焦慮癥或抑郁癥，就不難發(fā)現(xiàn)不幸也會(huì)隨之而來。是什么原因?qū)е滦睦硎Ш�？通常我們每天接觸的社會(huì)足以通過焦慮和其他精神疾病讓人處于不快樂的境地。有時(shí)也會(huì)遇到更嚴(yán)重的問題，但毫無例外都會(huì)被不快樂纏繞�；〞r(shí)間和你信任的人聊天可以幫助你度過生活中的小災(zāi)難。懷疑的時(shí)候?qū)で髮I(yè)幫助。
18. Your pet can help ward off happiness poisons.
18.寵物可以幫助抵御不幸。
Pets are a wonderful way to boost your happiness. If you are someone who doesn’t like or doesn’t want a pet, think about volunteering at a place with animals or some other outlet in order to introduce yourself to the appropriate ways to interact with pets. It has been found that when petting an animal, a person’s mood automatically lifts.
寵物是提升幸福感的好方法。如果你不喜歡或不想養(yǎng)寵物，可以考慮到有動(dòng)物的地方做志愿者，或者通過其他途徑讓自己以恰當(dāng)?shù)姆绞脚c動(dòng)物互動(dòng)。已有研究表明當(dāng)寵愛動(dòng)物時(shí)，一個(gè)人的心情會(huì)自動(dòng)改善。
19. Your ability to volunteer your time to the needy can help you become happier.
19.獻(xiàn)出時(shí)間給有需要的人可以讓你更幸福。
Giving your time to those in need will help cure the unhappiness in your life. Sometimes seeing those less fortunate than yourself helps put things in perspective.
把自己的時(shí)間奉獻(xiàn)給有需要的人可以幫助你治愈生活中的不幸。有時(shí)看著那些比自己更加不幸的人，可以幫助你用正確的角度看待事物。
20. Your stress can prevent happiness in your life.
20.壓力會(huì)妨礙幸福。
Stress is not only unhealthy for your physical well-being but emotional as well. If you are the type of person who has constant stress in your life, it may be time to make drastic changes. Take inventory of your life and get rid of the unnecessary. Living a life of simplicity can sometimes be just the thing you need to prevent stress and improve your happiness.
壓力不僅不利于身體健康，也會(huì)使精神不健康。如果你的生活經(jīng)常充滿壓力，或許是時(shí)候來做徹底的改變了。盤點(diǎn)你的生活并清空不必要的事情。有時(shí)預(yù)防壓力，提高幸福感只需過簡(jiǎn)單的生活就可以了。
I hope you find these insights to be of use in your life. If you find that your happiness is being poisoned, maybe one of these tips is the culprit. In any case, seek happiness from within. Meditate, read, pray, exercise, whatever you need to improve yourself, and happiness is sure to follow.
我希望這些見解對(duì)你的生活有所幫助。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)你的幸福被毒害了，也許上述其中一個(gè)就是罪魁禍?zhǔn)住o論在任何情況下，從內(nèi)心追求幸福。冥想，閱讀，祈禱，運(yùn)動(dòng)，從事任何你需要的活動(dòng)來提高自己，幸福一定會(huì)到來。
我們每個(gè)人偶爾都會(huì)毒害自己的幸福，無論是通過擔(dān)憂，恐懼或者糟糕的決定。生活有時(shí)會(huì)使我們陷入困境，但真正的罪魁禍?zhǔn)撞⒉皇悄婢潮旧恚瑳Q定結(jié)果的是我們對(duì)逆境的理解，對(duì)逆境作出的反應(yīng)。有時(shí)生活中錯(cuò)誤的動(dòng)機(jī)會(huì)導(dǎo)致我們走上困難重重的道路，而不是找到解決方法的道路。
1. Your jealousy can ruin any relationship.
1.嫉妒會(huì)摧毀任何戀情。
Your better off dealing with jealousy head on when it rears its ugly head. Most people don’t want to admit when they have been bitten by the green-eyed monster but it can happen from time to time. There are people who exude jealousy to the point that it ruins relationships. It usually stems from feelings of inadequacy, and those are the things that a person must take a hard look at in order to salvage their relationships. A happy person is one who is free from jealousy and it shows in healthy relationships.
當(dāng)嫉妒情緒出現(xiàn)時(shí)，你最好昂首面對(duì)。大部分人被嫉妒情緒吞噬時(shí)并不想承認(rèn)，但嫉妒卻是經(jīng)常出現(xiàn)的。有人嫉妒情緒顯露無遺，以至于摧毀戀情。嫉妒情緒通常源于不滿足感，為了挽救你們的戀情，你必須認(rèn)真反省。幸福的人從不嫉妒，這在健康的戀情中可以反映出來。
2. Your desire for superficial things in life can poison happiness.
2.對(duì)膚淺事物的渴望會(huì)毒害幸福。
It is often said that the happiest people are those who do more for others, rather than themselves. If you're the type of person that pursues the superficial things of life: wealth, cars, name brand clothes, etc. then it is safe to say that you are poisoning your own happiness in life. The desire of the perfunctory will only lead to more dissatisfaction because our brain is hard-wired at a threshold for such things; it’s called hedonistic adaptation. Living a life of modesty will bring you more happiness in the long run.
人們經(jīng)常說，最幸福的人總是為他人做的多，而不是為自己。如果你追求生活中浮于表面的東西：財(cái)富，汽車，名牌服裝等等，那么我可以肯定地說，你在破壞自己的幸福。對(duì)膚淺事物的渴望只會(huì)導(dǎo)致更多的不滿足感，因?yàn)閷?duì)于這些東西我們的大腦天生有一個(gè)臨界值；所謂的享樂適應(yīng)。質(zhì)樸的生活將會(huì)帶給你更長(zhǎng)遠(yuǎn)的幸福。
3. Your grudge-holding will destroy your happiness.
3.懷恨在心會(huì)摧毀你的幸福。
I once knew a man who held a grudge against his father for leaving the family. His grudge festered within him like a cancer and destroyed any hope of his living life to the fullest. The Stoic philosophers believed that some things are out of our control, so in short, they aren’t worth worrying over or trying to fix. Happiness comes from moving forward in your life and letting go of grudges that would hold you back.
我曾經(jīng)認(rèn)識(shí)一個(gè)男子，因父親離棄家庭而飽含恨意。他的怨恨像癌細(xì)胞一樣在他的體內(nèi)肆虐，完全破壞了所有的生活希望。斯多葛派哲學(xué)家認(rèn)為有些事情不是我們能控制的，簡(jiǎn)言之，這些事情不值得擔(dān)憂或試圖解決。幸福來自于生活中不斷前行，放下束縛你的怨恨。
4. Your regrets in life will destroy your peace.
4.生命中的遺憾會(huì)摧毀你的平和。
Your life most certainly will be filled with regrets from time to time; I call them mistakes. Mistakes are only there to teach you that a certain path has ended and so it is time to try another. There’s no use in looking back in regret, because you cannot change the past. Simply move forward and try another road. You will most certainly be happier for it.
生活肯定會(huì)不時(shí)地出現(xiàn)遺憾：我稱之為錯(cuò)誤。錯(cuò)誤只是教育你一段路程已經(jīng)結(jié)束，現(xiàn)在是時(shí)候嘗試另外一段新的路程�；匚哆z憾毫無意義，因?yàn)槟悴荒芨淖冞^去。義無反顧地繼續(xù)前行，嘗試另一條路，你肯定會(huì)更加幸福。
5. Your dependence on others will hinder happiness.
5.對(duì)他人的依賴會(huì)妨礙幸福。
If you are dependent person or to use another phrase, codependent on another person for your happiness, you will undoubtedly be waiting a very long time for a happy life. Happiness will never come to you from another person, it can only come from within yourself. You can find happiness with someone within a relationship, but that cannot be trusted for your own happiness, because at some point in time, that person will let you down. Looking within is the only way to true joy.
如果你依賴他人，或者換句話說，你的幸福依賴于他人，無疑需要很長(zhǎng)時(shí)間才能實(shí)現(xiàn)幸福.。幸福不會(huì)從另一個(gè)人那里降臨，只會(huì)來自你的內(nèi)心。你可以從跟某個(gè)人的戀情中找到幸福，但你的幸福并不能得到保障，因?yàn)樵谀硞�(gè)時(shí)間，那人會(huì)讓你失望。在自己的內(nèi)心尋找才是真正快樂的唯一方式。
6. Your need to fix other people will ruin your happiness.
6.操控其他人的需要會(huì)毀了你的幸福。
This ties into co-dependence as well. If you feel the need to “fix” others, then you will never be focused on your own well-being and happiness. When your focus shifts away from the self, you will always find something that needs to be fixed in others in order to make you feel happy. The only person you can control is you; so why not focus on self-actualization for long-term happiness.
這也關(guān)系到相互依賴。如果你覺得需要操控別人，那么你將永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)關(guān)注自身的幸福和快樂。當(dāng)你轉(zhuǎn)移焦點(diǎn)遠(yuǎn)離自我，為了使你幸福，你總要從別人那里尋找需要操控的事情。你唯一能控制的人就是你自己，那么為什么不把重點(diǎn)放在自我實(shí)現(xiàn)上，尋求長(zhǎng)久的幸福呢。
7. Your fear can hold a person back from experiencing true happiness.
7.恐懼會(huì)阻礙你體驗(yàn)真正的幸福。
Ralph Waldo Emerson said “Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.” It can stem from many places, but you will only experience true happiness when you release your fears and simply do the thing your are afraid of doing.
拉爾夫•瓦爾多•愛默生說，“與世界上任何事物相比，恐懼更能擊潰人類。”它可以起源于許多地方，但只有你釋放恐懼情緒，做你害怕的事情，你才能體驗(yàn)到真正的幸福。
8. Your selfishness is a poison to your happiness.
8.自私對(duì)幸福來說是一種毒藥。
If your a selfish person, it means you always want things your way and others’ needs and opinions are often discarded in the process. Most people do not want to be in relationship with a selfish person and if this describes you, you may just find yourself alone and unhappy if it is not changed. Take a good look at yourself and examine areas of your life that have fallen prey to selfishness and make the necessary changes; you may find happiness was waiting for you all along.
如果你是一個(gè)自私的人，這意味著你總是希望事情按照你的方式發(fā)展，其他人的需要和意見則常被忽略。大多數(shù)人不想跟自私的人保持關(guān)系，如果你就是這樣，倘若不作出改變，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)自己孤獨(dú)而不幸。仔細(xì)反省自己，審視你的生活中深受自私之害的地方，并做出必要的改變，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)幸福一直等待著你。
9. Your happiness will wane when you set unreasonably high expectations of others.
9.對(duì)他人期望過高，你的幸福會(huì)減弱。
Your need for everyone to meet your standards in life is an unreasonable expectation that most people will never be able to attain; therefore, you will most always be disappointed in people and thus unhappy in life. All people have their own personality type which will prevent them from ever being able to live up to what you expect of them. They cannot do it. When you let go of the expectation of others to perform to your standards, you will find that they, as well as yourself, will be much more elated. A free person is a happy person.
希望生活中的每個(gè)人都能達(dá)到你的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)是一種不合理的期望，大多數(shù)人將永遠(yuǎn)無法做到。所以，你將總是對(duì)周圍的人感到失望，并因此生活得不快樂。所有人都有自己的性格，這使他們不能符合你的期望。他們做不到。當(dāng)你不再讓別人執(zhí)行你的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)來滿足你的期望，你會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)他們和你自己都會(huì)更加開心。自由的人是快樂的。
10. Your self-righteous attitude will halt your happiness.
10.自以為是的態(tài)度會(huì)終止你的幸福。
If your a self-righteous person it means that you feel you can do no wrong, and that other people are always in the wrong. I used to attend church and always felt this type of attitude amongst the people, which in turn made for a lot of unhappiness in many of the people’s relationships. It is impossible to be perfect all of the time, so why not do drop your self-righteousness and experience true happiness. Not only will your relationships flourish but you will be a much more relaxed individual.
如果你是自以為是的人，這意味著你認(rèn)為自己永遠(yuǎn)沒有錯(cuò)，其他人永遠(yuǎn)是錯(cuò)的一方。我曾參加過教會(huì)活動(dòng)，總覺得生活中很多人都持這種態(tài)度，從而導(dǎo)致許多人的關(guān)系中存在諸多不快樂的因素。所有時(shí)間都保持完美是不可能的，所以為什么不拋開你的自以為是，體驗(yàn)真正的幸福呢。這不僅會(huì)使你的人際關(guān)系蓬勃發(fā)展，而且將使你成為一個(gè)更輕松的人。
11. Your living in the past will hinder happiness.
11.沉湎于過去會(huì)妨礙幸福。
If you're living in the past, it means that you are unhappy with the present. Your happiness is a current state of mind and if your life is not making you happy, then maybe it is time to examine your situation and makes some changes for the better. Maybe you need a new career goal? Maybe it’s time to finish a project you’ve been putting off? Whatever the case, moving forward in life will help you feel that you are living in the “now.”
如果你沉湎于過去，這意味著你現(xiàn)在并不開心。幸福是當(dāng)前的精神狀態(tài)，如果你的生活不能讓你快樂，那么也許是時(shí)候?qū)徱曌约旱奶幘�，為更好的生活做出改變了。也許你需要一個(gè)新的職業(yè)目標(biāo)？也許是時(shí)候來完成一個(gè)你拖延已久的項(xiàng)目？無論如何，在生活中不斷前行會(huì)讓你覺得生活在“現(xiàn)在”。
12. Your dishonesty can dampen happiness.
12.不誠實(shí)會(huì)抑制幸福。
If you are a dishonest person, chances are you have alienated yourself from others. Often times, people who are dishonest gain the reputation as someone who cannot be trusted; therefore, they are seen as an unfaithful friend and partner. Alienating yourself through dishonesty will surely lead to unhappiness and isolation.
如果你是一個(gè)不誠實(shí)的人，你會(huì)使自己與他人疏遠(yuǎn)。通常，不誠實(shí)的人會(huì)讓人認(rèn)為不可信任；因此，他們被看作是不忠實(shí)的朋友或伙伴。因不誠實(shí)將自己疏遠(yuǎn)，必將導(dǎo)致不幸和孤立。
13. Your substance use alters states of happiness.
13.物質(zhì)濫用改變幸福的狀態(tài)。
Some may disagree but even if you use substances for temporary states of “happiness” it will be short-lived and once the high wears off, your feelings of unhappiness will be there, staring you in the face. Even for those who use chocolate and caffeine as means of escape, must admit that the euphoria is short-lived.
有些人可能不認(rèn)同，但即使你使用物質(zhì)得到短暫的“快樂”，也只是曇花一現(xiàn)，一旦興奮逐漸減弱，你就會(huì)感到不快樂。即使那些用巧克力和咖啡因作為逃避手段的人也必須承認(rèn)，興奮是短暫的。
14. Your pessimism leads to perpetual moods of unhappiness.
14.悲觀情緒會(huì)導(dǎo)致永久的不幸。
It is thought that if you are the type of person that always has the pessimistic attitude it can lead to a life of unhappiness. In a sense, your words and thoughts have power to them and if you constantly use “negative talk” it’s like sending negative vibes out into the world. Thus, unhappiness appears to follow you around like a virus that won’t go away. The medicine for pessimism is to become aware of your negativity and work to change your thoughts and words for the better. Read, exercise, take up a hobby, whatever you need to feel better about yourself is worth a try.
人們認(rèn)為，如果你總是持有悲觀的態(tài)度，就會(huì)導(dǎo)致生活不幸福。從某種意義上說，你的言語和想法是具有魔力的，如果你經(jīng)常使用“否定說”，就會(huì)向外在世界發(fā)射出消極的頻率波動(dòng)。因此，不幸就好像病毒一樣跟隨你，永不消失。治療悲觀情緒的藥物就是意識(shí)到你的消極態(tài)度，向更好的方向去改變思維和言語。閱讀，鍛煉，養(yǎng)成一種愛好，無論需要什么，只要能讓你自我感覺更好就值得一試。
15. Your prejudice of other people can make you unhappy with yourself.
15.對(duì)其他人的偏見會(huì)讓自己不開心。
You would think that if someone is prejudiced against a group of people, it means they are unhappy with that group but quite the opposite is true. A prejudiced person is often an unhappy person, spewing their unhappiness onto a “scapegoat” group of people. Prejudiced people look for instances in which to unleash their fury onto others. They think it will somehow make them feel better, but it won’t. If you find that you are prejudiced (and we do all have certain prejudices), it may be time to sit down and really take stock in yourself and confront these issues head on; you will be glad you did.
你可能會(huì)認(rèn)為，如果有人對(duì)一群人懷有偏見，這意味著他們對(duì)這一群人都感到不滿。但事實(shí)恰恰相反。有偏見的人往往是不幸福的人，把他們的不快發(fā)泄在“替罪羊”群體中。有偏見的人尋找機(jī)會(huì)來將他們的憤怒宣泄到別人身上。他們認(rèn)為這會(huì)讓他們感覺更好，但是事實(shí)并非如此。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)你有偏見（我們所有人都會(huì)有一些偏見），可能是時(shí)候坐下來，反省自己，直面這些問題：你會(huì)很高興你做到了。
16. Your self-doubt can lead to feelings of unhappiness.
16.自我懷疑會(huì)導(dǎo)致不快樂的感覺。
If you doubt yourself consistently, it would stand to reason that it will lead you to feelings of unhappiness. A self-doubter may engage in negative self-talk which leads to deeper and deeper feelings of unhappiness. It’s a vicious cycle that needs to be addressed with a close friend or counselor who may be able to help you through these feelings. Maybe finding a positive outlet in which to volunteer your time can boost your self-worth as well, and take your mind off yourself for a change.
如果你一貫懷疑自己，顯然會(huì)導(dǎo)致你心情不快。自我懷疑的人會(huì)消極地自我否定，導(dǎo)致越來越嚴(yán)重的不快樂的感覺。這是一個(gè)惡性循環(huán)，需要一個(gè)親密的朋友或輔導(dǎo)員來幫助你處理，幫助你克服這些情緒。也許找到一個(gè)積極的情感宣泄方式，無償付出你的時(shí)間，這既可以提升自我價(jià)值感，又可以把你的注意力從自己身上轉(zhuǎn)移。
17. Your unhappiness can stem from unchecked mental health.
17.不幸福來自不健康的心理。
If you suffer from anxiety or depression, it isn’t hard to figure that unhappiness follows. What causes these mental imbalances? Often the society we engage in daily is enough to send anyone into states of unhappiness by way of anxiety and other mental illnesses. Sometimes there are more serious issues at hand but unhappiness is robbed all the same. Take time and talk with someone in whom you trust who can help you sort through life’s mishaps. When in doubt seek professional help.
如果你患有焦慮癥或抑郁癥，就不難發(fā)現(xiàn)不幸也會(huì)隨之而來。是什么原因?qū)е滦睦硎Ш�？通常我們每天接觸的社會(huì)足以通過焦慮和其他精神疾病讓人處于不快樂的境地。有時(shí)也會(huì)遇到更嚴(yán)重的問題，但毫無例外都會(huì)被不快樂纏繞�；〞r(shí)間和你信任的人聊天可以幫助你度過生活中的小災(zāi)難。懷疑的時(shí)候?qū)で髮I(yè)幫助。
18. Your pet can help ward off happiness poisons.
18.寵物可以幫助抵御不幸。
Pets are a wonderful way to boost your happiness. If you are someone who doesn’t like or doesn’t want a pet, think about volunteering at a place with animals or some other outlet in order to introduce yourself to the appropriate ways to interact with pets. It has been found that when petting an animal, a person’s mood automatically lifts.
寵物是提升幸福感的好方法。如果你不喜歡或不想養(yǎng)寵物，可以考慮到有動(dòng)物的地方做志愿者，或者通過其他途徑讓自己以恰當(dāng)?shù)姆绞脚c動(dòng)物互動(dòng)。已有研究表明當(dāng)寵愛動(dòng)物時(shí)，一個(gè)人的心情會(huì)自動(dòng)改善。
19. Your ability to volunteer your time to the needy can help you become happier.
19.獻(xiàn)出時(shí)間給有需要的人可以讓你更幸福。
Giving your time to those in need will help cure the unhappiness in your life. Sometimes seeing those less fortunate than yourself helps put things in perspective.
把自己的時(shí)間奉獻(xiàn)給有需要的人可以幫助你治愈生活中的不幸。有時(shí)看著那些比自己更加不幸的人，可以幫助你用正確的角度看待事物。
20. Your stress can prevent happiness in your life.
20.壓力會(huì)妨礙幸福。
Stress is not only unhealthy for your physical well-being but emotional as well. If you are the type of person who has constant stress in your life, it may be time to make drastic changes. Take inventory of your life and get rid of the unnecessary. Living a life of simplicity can sometimes be just the thing you need to prevent stress and improve your happiness.
壓力不僅不利于身體健康，也會(huì)使精神不健康。如果你的生活經(jīng)常充滿壓力，或許是時(shí)候來做徹底的改變了。盤點(diǎn)你的生活并清空不必要的事情。有時(shí)預(yù)防壓力，提高幸福感只需過簡(jiǎn)單的生活就可以了。
I hope you find these insights to be of use in your life. If you find that your happiness is being poisoned, maybe one of these tips is the culprit. In any case, seek happiness from within. Meditate, read, pray, exercise, whatever you need to improve yourself, and happiness is sure to follow.
我希望這些見解對(duì)你的生活有所幫助。如果你發(fā)現(xiàn)你的幸福被毒害了，也許上述其中一個(gè)就是罪魁禍?zhǔn)住o論在任何情況下，從內(nèi)心追求幸福。冥想，閱讀，祈禱，運(yùn)動(dòng)，從事任何你需要的活動(dòng)來提高自己，幸福一定會(huì)到來。
