1.避免中文式英語(Chinglish)
如:色、香、味俱全。沒有任何化學添加劑及色素。大可放心食用。
Color, smell, taste is various. There is not any chemical preservative or pigment. You can set your heart to cat at rest.
此譯文就是一種Chinglish,宜改為:
No additives or artificial coloring. Its fine appearance, enticing aroma and pleasing flavor whet your appetite.
2.避免文化誤解現(xiàn)象
如,采自云南阿爾卑斯山脈清明前精心采制•
It grows buntain peak amidst the cloud and mist and is carefully collected and prepared before the Tomb-sweeping Days.
此譯例將“清明前”譯為“清明節(jié)之前”,的確是符合原意,但中國條文化里的這種飲茶心理,往往為英語文化中的讀者所不知。因此,如此傳遞這一文化信息,只會令英語讀者困惑不解,也就不能激發(fā)出他們的消費欲望.可改為:
Premium tea prepared with leaves picked from Yunnan alps at the right time around April.
3.注意中、英文在語義重復方面的差異
語義重復在中文里司空見慣,但在英文里往往就成了妨礙簡潔而應予以刪除的冗余和累贅.例如:“翠綠、鮮嫩、青脆、可口”若譯成“is jade green in color and delicious in taste",則其中的“jade green”與“in color, delicious”與“in taste"造成語義重復,所以“in color”與“in taste"應予劇去.
4.注意英譯時要根據(jù)篇幅等要求.技術(shù)處理中文說明里廣告性的夸張
例如:(渦陽苔干)有清熱降壓、通經(jīng)脈、壯筋骨、去口臭、解熱毒酒毒、治療心臟病、神經(jīng)官能癥、消化不良、貧血等功效.
Guoyang Taigan has believed to be able to produce certain medical effects, namely, to allay internal heat and fever. to reduce hypertension, to regulate and strengthen bodily functions, to relieve halitosis and to dispel the effects of alcohol. Taigan can also be served as a medical diet for those who are suffering from heart failure. neurosis, indigestion and anemia.
此譯文對于中文“有……等功效”這一常用語分別使用“produce certain medical effects to".和“be served as a medical diet for',來翻澤,應該說措詞得當.而并沒有輕率地英譯為"cure",并未給人以一種疏菜即叮治療諸般疾病的不負責任的夸大性誤導.然而.有時,限于篇幅.從交際性的翻譯目的論出發(fā),此譯文可濃縮為:
Persistent eating is smart for your health.
句式的轉(zhuǎn)譯
如“為廚下品”可拆譯為兩個更具表達力的英文句子:
A delicious dish for your family!
A wonderful gift for your friends!
中文里大,使用同義或近義詞疊加的形式,以加強語氣,突出特性,加深印象。但英文的行文應盡量簡潔。
如:萬基洋參含片采用上等優(yōu)質(zhì)西洋參,經(jīng)提取、配以萄萄糖等研制成含服片。
Wanji Ginseng tablet is extracted from first-class ginseng...
又如:它是用高粱、大米、擂米、小麥、玉米釀造,具有芳香濃郁、純正典雅、醉厚綿柔、甘例爽凈、余香悠長、香味協(xié)調(diào)、酒體豐滿圓潤、典型獨特的風格.
It has character of pure sweetness, lasting smell and elegant taste.